Priyanjali Dutta
Wish To Build A “Community” Where We Adult Orphans Can Feel At Home – After losing my parents, I realized what it means to be lonely.
I wake up every morning, offer a prayer of love to Mumma and Pappa (mom and dad), and start my day with the purpose of helping one orphan every day.
As I have accepted my life without my parents, I miss them a lot every day when I am not able to see them, but it hurts more the way society labels an orphan and the way they see them as I feel it every day.
I recall my parents having a simple, yet beautiful relationship until a single incident turned my and my mother’s lives in all facets of life. My father lost his life in a car accident when I was 14 years.
After Dad passed away, Mumma’s mental health incurred because of the trauma, and I noticed behavioural changes in my mother.
My mother, who at the time was my entire universe, was suffering from a mental illness when I was a young child going through trauma due to my father’s death. Sometimes she would have hallucinations, believing that my father was nearby, and she would knock on the doors of our neighbours and also file an FIR against them.
Soon after, her symptoms worsened, and she began frequent visits to my school, complaining to the principal and filing a FIR against me. And as I noticed her symptoms getting worse, I took her to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed her with schizophrenia.
So, I spent half of my life taking care of my mother like a baby and taking her complaints back. I used to do all of my and my mother’s work on my own, which was difficult for me, especially when I was away at the hostel.
Despite this, Mumma managed everything, especially the household finances. And we used to look after each other without any help.
A Journey of Sacrifice and Loss
I got married, but because of my husband’s reservations, it was difficult for me to take care for my mother. However, I am aware that nobody else can care for my mother besides me and then my life shaken again when my mother suffers a severe heart attack in my first year of marriage, and I immediately decide to stay and care for her. My husband on the other hand stopped me and gave me the option of choosing between him and my mother.
And I choose my mother over my husband without giving it a second thought. I felt extremely fortunate to have the opportunity to take care of my mother constantly, just like a new-born. She used to get daily encouragement from me to live life to the fullest.
However, a few months later, her health began to decline, and at that point, I met many astrologers and performed a Havan (fire ritual) at home for my mother’s well-being. She was the only person in this entire world for me, thus I do not want to lose her.
She went from wheelchair to ventilator after a few days, which was difficult for me because I couldn’t save her. In my adulthood, I became an orphan.
To cope with my loneliness, I took two jobs, but I had hit rock bottom. Because I was unable to cope with my loss, I started channeling my emotions by raising my voice about the life of an orphan.
And I want to continue my journey by educating the world that one day everyone will leave this world, that everyone’s parents will depart, so why look at an orphan like this? Over time, I learned that death does not end our relationships, but rather transforms them.
I now understand the struggles and loneliness that an orphan experiences, which is why I plan to build a community where we can support each other as a family who are going through similar experiences.
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